Category Archives: development

The good enough mother

From Psychoanalytic Diagnosis by Nancy McWilliams:

A markedly nonnarcissistic attitude toward offspring informs the remarks of an 85-year-old friend of mine who reared 12 children during the Depression, all of whom have turned out well, despite borderline poverty and some painful losses:

“Every time I’d get pregnant, I’d cry. I’d wonder where the money would come from, how I was going to nurse this child and take care of everything else. But around the fourth month I’d begin to feel life, and I’d get all excited, thinking, ‘I can’t wait till you come out and I find out who you are!'”


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Adult development

“In the adult there are no frustrating parents to stimulate growth. But there is a mature mind capable of tolerating the frustration generated by the recognition that some impulses may not be gratified the way they were in earlier stages of development and others will not be gratified at all.”

From Adult Development, Chapter 4, by Calvin Colarusso and Robert Nemiroff.

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